The Daily Fuss

Control Room

This week we decided that we might be interested in a house in a super-cute, train-ride-away, lots-of-kids, villagey-type of suburb. I have expressed my angst associated with that.  Let's add to it the fact that I spent my free time on monday cobbling together our tax-related documents for the accountant, printed menus and bought decorations for Leighton's first birthday party, caught a cold because I'm getting ZERO sleep because a certain, wee tot likes to come into our bed at 2am and drive her little toes like screwdrivers into my ribcage for the next four hours. It's either that or endless crying.

I still need to procure cake and balloons, am desperately trying to pull Q1 out of a hat at work, need to lose another 25 pounds and I completely miss my blog. Oh yeah ... I also desperately need to clean my MESSY nest. Well, everything but the living room. It's spotless right now.

When my life and sanity begin spiraling into oblivion, I reach for that little piece of control I can count on - my living room. I always manage to put that room back together in two minutes flat no matter the circumstance. Toys in the toy chest. Remotes in the box. Eight throw pillows strategically arranged on the sectional. Leighton's chair, complete with quilt and Bitty Baby angled perfectly into a converstaional pattern. Wine bottles, magazines and books in the rack. Swiffer every surface. Zip zip with the vacuum. Done and done.

I feel a sense of order and accomplishment. It doesn't even matter that we must hurdle four bins of clean (unfolded) laundry to get to our bed. It's so ridiculous that we've begun getting dressed from these bins. I beats folding, but the pangs of hopeless inadequacy trump the triumph of that exercise in efficiency.

My friend Natalie always makes her bed in the morning because if she can just get her bed made, the rest of the day is doable. I feel that way about my living room. If I can get a handle on this first piece of impending disaster, the rest of the day is just a small struggle away from being great.

How do you regain control when you feel overwhelmed? Please leave a comment and share your fuss with us.

Un-Apology

After acheiving relative success raising our first child to the age of one, my parenting style has taken preliminary shape.

I've come to realize that Ryan and I practice an unapologetic approach to child-rearing. We educate ourselves. We Google, read books, study social implications of various choices, conduct field research and discuss findings with other parents. Then, we make decisions that suit us (all of us) best. We’re doing it our way.

This ‘kiss my ass if you don’t like it” style brings with it a solemn vow to NOT JUDGE other parents, to NEVER say NEVER and the strength to let grandparents occasionally toss our ideology out the window.

SIDEBAR: I'm writing this post on the Hiawatha Amtrak between Milwaukee and Chicago (have a meeting) and Leighton is with my parents. Bradley, his brother and his noticeably pregnant mother are seated behind me and Bradley’s behavior is less than ideal. So much so that his mother just asked him if he wanted her to take him into the train bathroom and SPANK him. Thankfully, he said “no”.

I am neither thrice pregnant with two boys under five, nor am I judging (anymore) as promised. Okay, I must acknowledge a self-directed “big shame” for breaking my first rule for a split second, even though I will NEVER spank my kids. Oops. Broke the second rule too.

Good thing I have no control over rule number three. Even if, at this very moment, Leighton is playing with matches in a pile of broken glass while watching tv (which she most certainly isn’t) I would likely say nothing about the whole hot mess. In fact, I'm sure she's singing songs, learning about what letter comes after O, practicing new animal sounds, being loved to pieces and enjoying every second of it. I can't complain about my parents loving my child. Even if they go about it differently than I would. Even if she gets a scoop of ice cream with her oatmeal. Naughty!

I don’t think we’re alone in this design-your-own parenthood - fully equipped without the pressures of childhoods past. It’s a new and improved blend of the last centuries' best and most relevant bits.

50’s – one parent stays home; family road trips are the norm; wooden toys are the rage

60’s – activism; acoustic guitar rocks; family bed and breastfeeding rule

70’s – dinners at home; live music for kids; comfy is fashionable

80’s – Star Wars thrills; teachers are awesome; taking fashion into your own young hands is totally awesome

90’s – tolerance is preached; goverment is questioned; Nintendo is just the beginning

Granted, parenting styles don’t radically change every 10 years to the day. And, the previous century carried it's share of bad influence, but with each decade that eventually distills to its essence, we learn and the good stuff moves on with us.

Participating in traveling soccer, gymnastics, piano, play groups and summer camps while learning to speak French fluently by age six is gleefully a thing of the past. Plus, it’s just too much work to update the holiday card with all of that crap every year. Recently (and maybe because we all reevaluated what’s important when the economy took a poop, and some of us are doing the stay-at-home parenting without a choice) we’re doing a better job of listening to what our kids enjoy and filtering out the nice-to-haves from the need-to-haves. Instant g is less important and spending time together is a monumental sign of this time.

It’s a good time. Let’s enjoy it.

What do you feel is the parenting style du jour and how much do you incorporate (or dismiss) it when it comes to your family? Please leave a comment and share your fuss with us.

WIN IT! Happy Baby Foods and Snacks for Your Wee One

To salute the purveyors of organic beeb foods, The Daily Fuss is giving away Happy Baby organic foods and snacks meal kits to three lucky fans. Happy Baby groups their delectable into stages.

Stage 1: Starting Solids

Stage 2: Simple Combos for 6+ Months

Stage 3: Meals for 7+ Months  

Since I have no clue how old your beebs and tots are, please post your stage preference in your post. If you don't, I will hunt you down anyway, but I'd prefer you make it easy on me.

Meal kits will include the best and yummiest picks from Happy Baby for your particular peanut - a $40 value for each winner.

How do I win, you ask?

Leave a comment on this blog post telling us your kid(s) favorite foods and ways you try, as a responsible parent, to offer palate-building variety.

Or maybe you just serve taco pie and mac n cheese every night. We won't judge. In fact, that's a great reason to try something new. Be creative and share your fuss with us.

Here are the official rules for the giveaway:

1. Leave a comment on this blog post per the above instruction.

2. Your official comment to this blog post during the specified time frame counts as an entry.

3. Three comments will be selected as winners.

4. Comments will be open until March 31, 2010 at 5PM Central.

5. Comments will each be assigned a number and winners will be chosen randomly using Random.org.

6. Winners will be announced on April 2, 2010.

7. The prize for each winner is a Happy Baby organic foods and snacks meal kit. Please specify Stage 1m 2 or 3. ($40 value each)

GOOD LUCK!

Please check back soon for The Daily Fuss Guide to prepared baby foods. Thanks for reading and if the mood strikes, please leave a comment and share your fuss with us.

What the Fuss? Petunia Picklebottom

At the risk of this post reading like a fourth grade essay ... I love my Petunia Picklebottom Touring Tote diaper bag. It absolutely rules. Here's why:

1) It's deceptively roomy. (12 x 14 x 6.5)

2) It has conveniently placed pockets that I actually use.

3) It zips closed.

4) It has an easily adjustable seat belt strap. When it's long, you can wear it like a sash and still manage to carry your baby comfortably.

5) It also includes a short strap that I have never used, but it's cool of Petunia to throw it should I ever change my mind.

6) It comes with stroller clips so you can quickly unclip the strap and clip the bag to your stroller.

7) It comes in a variety of patterns and fabrics, including gorgeous brocade and wash and wipe treated canvas.

8) The back zipper compartment holds a changing pad and air-tight wipes container.

9) You can run out the door without your baby without having to change over to a purse because it looks more like a purse than a diaper bag.

10) It screams "Hip Mama" loud enough for people to bestow mad compliments upon you every time you leave the house.

The Touring Tote retails for $146 and I paid $98 on sale on the PPB Boutique site. I have a bright green brocade that has since been discontinued, but I love it. I also have the Cake by Petunia Society Satchel in dark pink.  It was $325 and a bit big, so I use that as an overnight bag for Lei. For the money and sheer joy it brings, the Touring Tote is a Fussworthy Must Have.

This product review conforms to the Fuss Formula.

Do you have a favorite bag that works for you as a parent? Please leave a comment and tell us about it.

What the Fuss? Flipping Out

How much effort does it really take to effectively chronicle the most important moments? Not much if you have the right gadget.

First steps, first words and random bouts of hilarity happen in split seconds, and we wouldn't have captured any of it so candidly without the Flip Mino HD. We couldn't possibly have such footage of Leighton if I had to dig a handycam out of the closet every other day. Telling a child to "hold that pose" as she laughs milk out of her nose just isn't going to work.

Luckily, 1986 is safely behind us. The 2010 Mino HD fits in the palm of your hand and holds up to 120 minutes of high definition video. Point, shoot, upload, enjoy. Easy peasy.

So easy, in fact, a baby can operate it.

It boasts a wide screen, plugs directly into your USB and comes complete with groovy editing software. At $229, a bargain indeed. Still, if this bad boy is a budget buster, you can procure the 60 minute regular Mino for $149 or the 60 minute HD Mino for $199 instead.

The standard model comes in black or brushed silver. You can also design your own with an uploaded image or choose from an array of bright and sleek designs. If you land anywhere on the OCD spectrum, you should consider opting for a design. Original black shows every little fingerprint in a way that could send someone right over the edge.

For those of you concerned about the adverse effect your trembling hand may have on the recoded image, this handy little device has remarkable "shimmy-control". The picture comes out far cleaner than any other hand held recorder I've seen.

Here's a sample of me chasing an overtired eleven month-old around the kitchen way past her bedtime - the worst possible circumstances. Even Scorsese's crew would have had a tough time shooting this subject.

Incidentally, all other videos posted to thedailyfuss where I'm not conducting a bedtime high-speed chase were shot with the Mino HD, as well.

Due to our insane appreciation for this handy camera and the joy it brings, the Flip Mino HD makes The Daily Fuss list of parent must-haves.

This product review conforms to the Fuss Formula.

Please share your fuss with us! Facebook Fans can upload videos to The Daily Fuss page on Facebook. We'd love to see your wee ones in action.

Daddy Wisdom

" It's difficult to make things easy and easy to make things difficult." Ryan loves to apply this little nugget to any number of situations. The thing is ... it works. It works so well, it's kind of annoying.

For example, it's a pain to clean up the kitchen and put the dishes away immediately after dinner. But, the longer you leave the ziti to cure in the Emile Henry baker, the more of a pain in the ass it will be to scrub it off. Deal with the difficult and make things easy by eliminating work for yourself.

Or, let's say you HATE heading to the gym. No wait ... you loathe the gym. No wait ... I loathe the gym. WHATEVER. No matter the level of detestation, my life is far less complicated with arms (not thighs) attached to my shoulders and a smaller butt. So, difficult gym now, easy peasy, meltdown-free zone when getting dressed to go out on Saturday night.

Ryan's wisdom can certainly be applied to matters of the financial persuasion. Saving cash sucks for most people - myself included. It takes planning, dedication and a certain amount of restraint. For me, it feels like an sadistic exercise in self-deprivation - empowerment and torture rolled into one effort. However, the future will be far easier with some cash in the bank. Duh. So simple, yet so tough to follow.

As difficult as it may be to make things easy, the reverse is true. It's easy to pick a fight and say something you'll regret. It's easy to grow complacent in a relationship, take your partner for granted ot blame them for making you absolutely nuts. And when you have kids, you have even less time for yourselves. It's no secret that relationships require cultivation and this fact is Ryan's number one reason for bandying about this favorite bit of daddy wisdom.

I'm exhausted with a splash of nostalgic today (Leighton turns one in a few weeks) and I leave tomorrow for a girls' weekend in Napa without Ryan or Leighton (or Lue for that matter). I miss my squad already and crave some purely relaxing one-on-one time with my wonderful husband - free from discussions of house hunting, grocery shopping, the effing gym class schedule, laundry or diapers. I wouldcharacterize this past year as chaotic joy. Now, we just need to do a little extra nurturing to make the coming year a little easier on us.

I'm feeling sort of exposed today and in the sharing mood. I'd love for you to share back. Please leave a comment and discuss your fuss with us.