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« Loser Wardrobe Challenge Part II | Main | WIN IT! and WTF? Follow Up: Tummy Tub »

Sunday, January 10, 2010


I mean what were you supposed to say? "Shoot shoot shoot?" I find myself calling lots of people "stinkers" these days. "Mother Stinker" "Son of a Stinker" and "Stinkbag" don't have the same effect, but feel good to utter anyway.

Ahem, I believe I have heard you say "shut the front door". We find cheese and rice just as acceptable. Now, this is coming from a woman whose almost 2 year old was running around the house happily saying "shit, shit shit" because mommy spilled her cereal and didn't know anyone was in the kitchen with her.

When driving in heavy traffic, an Ice Road Trucker sounds like a Church Lady compared to Brody's daddy, (me). During one particular family Sunday drive, I lovingly called the guy in front of me a douche bag. It took Brody about 2.2 to start repeating the new term he just learned. (Sidebar: Why is that so cute?!) I artfully redirected by saying, "three bags, four bags, five bags...". I did this everytime he would repeat "douche bag". Brody's momma and I now call those annoying drivers in front of us "two bags".

I'm going to need something spontaneous like that because the substitutes I've tried aren't sticking - too contrived. I need it to just fly out of my mouth like yours did.

I took to saying "Oh short word!"
As a socially acceptable substitute. I was in an airport some time ago when something went awry and I automatically said "Oh short word!" with the proper inflection.
A little old lady two seats down burst into fits of uncontrolable laughter. ;-)

This post is too funny! Laughed out loud. Fuck, do I have to stop saying Fuck? Ugh. Yes. It's going to be a challenge here too.

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