I am acutely aware of that point in every movie where things are perfectly peachy, it's sunny, dad is playing with the kids, the birthday party is in full swing ... It's the high point in the movie just before it all goes to hell.
It's disconcerting.
I point out this movie moment every single time we watch one (which isn't very often). It's escalated to the point that Ryan tries to beat be to the moment of recognition - usually about 34-37 minutes in.
It's a little game and we laugh about it. But, I must say, in all honesty, I HATE the shattering of homeostasis and the anxiety of the resulting struggle (or rest of the movie) wherein characters practically kill themselves to get back to the place they were 63-67 minutes earlier. I'd be fine with ending the flick back at minute 34.
I love my life. I could use more sleep, a few more bucks and a round of lipo of course, but I am happy. Really, truly, unabashedly happy. And, in light of said happiness, I no longer have space in my head or the emotional constitution for sadness or drama on screen. In other words, I don't need a movie to get myself all worked up. I can handle that just fine on my own. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I mentioned that in the small moments, fear creeps in and plants the "what if" seeds. What if this very moment is as good as it gets? What if something horrendous happens and my happy is ripped from my grasp like one of Lue's chew toys from Lei's little hands? What if ...?
I just can't imagine losing my family, as it exists, at this second. I can hardly bear to think about Leighton getting bigger. I even get blurry-eyed when I consider having another baby. Our crew wouldn't be the same - the Freeman clan would no longer exists as it does on this day. What if that baby is sick? Every second that passes - every tick of the clock - is a moment for me to either panic like it's minute 38 or settle in and savor everything for which I am grateful.
Obviously, the latter is the more attractive option. I'm just saying ... sometimes it takes effort to forget about the laundry or work or the fact that Lue hasn't had a fresh hairdo in two months. The effort always pays off. Life is a work in progress and every day I choose to live mine one movie minute at a time.
Am I on a limb out here or are you feeling me? How do you handle it? Leave a comment and share your fuss with us.
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