The Daily Fuss

Cuckoo for Coco

This post has very little to do with being a superconsumer and mom other than the fact that who hosts the Tonight Show is a proverbial sign of the times. It's quite like those birthday fact sheets that tell you how much milk, gas and a loaf of bread cost or who the President was or what war was going on the year you were born. To that end, I will be sure to list the recent controversy surrounding Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien in both the late night talk show host and war categories for Leighton on her sixteenth birthday.

Taking in all of the chatter and without actually interviewing the NBC big wigs myself my very unimportant and semi-informed opinion is as follows:

1) CONAN O'BRIEN IS LOVELY

I have loved Conan for years and there will be no convincing me otherwise. I find him to hilarious, relevant, smart and human. Even his hair is deliciously self-deprecating in its own right. 

SIDEBAR: In the interest of full disclosure I will admit bias toward Conan O'Brien. In 1998, my fifteen year-old cousin had cancer. One of the activities during her Make-A-Wish trip to New York was to meet Conan. He spent time with her, showed off the set and the lot and invited the family to stay for a Late Night taping. He went out of his way to be hospitable and very funny in the face of incredible illness. Sara passed away shortly after that and Conan (his people ... whatever ... doesn't matter to me) sent a rather personal card and flowers to our family. It was amazing PR that's obviously still paying dividends.

As far as The Daily Fuss readers are concerned, I'm likely preaching to a group that relates far better to Conan than Leno, but I'm trying very hard not to make this about one versus the other like it's a competition. It's not. But if it were, Conan wins.

2) NBC SHOULD START MAKING CUTS AT THE MANAGEMENT LEVEL

When Conan is on board, you do everything you can to keep him. I'm going to assume that was the goal five-ish years ago when Leno promised to hand the show off to Conan in 2009. NBC figured that the demographic of the Tonight Show viewership would change over the coming half-decade and no longer favor the vanilla one-liners demanded by an audience still longing for Johnny Carson. Not to mention the geriatric segment that loses members with each passing year comprises a good portion of those viewers. This is where the good decisions end.

The mere fact that the Tonight Show had good ratings at the time of Leno's departure did not indicate that a late night talk format would be successful in the 10pm time slot. To me, it was an obvious way for a sinking network to cheap out on writers, actors and viewers alike by offering Jaywalking and celebrity guests instead of five other potentially entertaining shows. For shame.

And, an even bigger shame on you to NBC for exploiting Jay Leno's obvious desire to remain a late night talk show host no matter the cost. He could have retired (whether forced or not) in his own style - maintaining his routine comedy club appearances and rubbing his fancy cars with diapers without much ado.

Instead, we have a situation where two successful late night personalities are pitted against one another to the point that the funnier one walked away with a huge chunk of change and will likely go on to have a kick-ass show on another network that appreciates digitally recordable tv, social media and whole lot of other fun shit that hasn't been invented yet. NBC - please fire whoever is actually responsible for this catastrophe. Let's not blame the affiliates. It's their job to make money off of advertising. It's your job to provide a prime-time show that people will watch during prime time.

3) JAY LENO DESPERATELY WANTS TO BE THE HOST OF THE TONIGHT SHOW

Oprah's interview of Jay really drove this point home for me. When asked whether he feels he played a role in Conan's departure or whether he felt partially responsible for Conan's disappointment, Leno pointed solely to bad ratings as NBC's reason for invoking change. When asked whether he felt, at any point, that he should turn down NBC's offer to reinstate him as the host of the Tonight Show, he said no. In fact, he said that part of the reason he took the offer was to keep his 175-person crew employed. Moreover, Jay Leno feels that a host's retirement from a show is inherently selfish. I wonder how Oprah felt about that.

It's clear that Leno would take any late night talk format or time slot the network would offer. It's also brutally apparent that the Tonight Show's ratings dip with Conan at the helm is the basis for his clear conscience. He took no responsibility for the outcome. And, without the existence of a "high road" he certainly can't feel bad for not taking it.

I get how network television works. I understand ratings. Current Tonight Show ratings were never destined to match Leno's historical numbers due to Conan's younger demographic appeal. Appointment television does not exist for this younger, hipper, social media-obsessed viewership who watches their shows Tivo and Hulu. If NBC found a better way to track who's cuckoo for Conan, they may not have tinkered with their late night lineup so hastily.

I'm with Coco. I will follow Conan wherever he goes. But, as I said earlier, it isn't really about one or the other as much as it's about a poorly managed network. Unless, of course, Fox puts Conan on opposite the Tonight Show and Letterman. Then, it would be about several poorly managed networks.

Are you a fan of Conan? Leno? Both? Neither? Maybe you have a strong feeling about who got us into this hot mess, or maybe you really don't give a rip. Either way, please leave a comment and share your fuss with us.

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

I am a work in progress.  Luckily, those around me allow for this.  I believe that I inherited a propensity to think critically from my father, and this trait is  some say irritatingly compounded by the need to question absolutely everything. Let's blame law school for the latter part.

However, I do not consider myself a cynic. Lets go with open-minded analytic instead.

So, last week we watched Food, Inc. Prior to viewing, I already knew that most of the food grown and consumed in this country is controlled much like the media by a handful of companies. I knew that animals, farmers and soy beans alike are often mistreated. And, I knew that in many depressed areas, soda, filled meats and pop tarts are all less expensive than a green pepper.

What I did not know, is that your average grocery store item was produced by one of only four companies. Your average veggie is genetically modified. Your average chicken farmer working for Tyson is $500k in mandated-equipment debt, yet only reaps an annual profit of $18k. And, your average teenager in dusty, rural New Mexico has at least three family members with Type 2 Diabetes.

I was fully yucked out by Food Inc. after learning of, and subsequently researching, a few simple truths so plainly yet brilliantly layed out in this documentary. Filmmaker Robert Kenner, with the help of experts Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation), Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto) and others, lifts the veil of the beautifully stocked grocery store and shines a critical light on the machine of mass production that takes our food from laboratory to "farm" to processing and eventually to the table.

This is a must see for anyone that eats. PERIOD. This is not your Michael Moore brand of crab ass "Aren't you disgusted with yourselves, America?" rant. Nor is it a PETA-inspired indictment of companies that mistreat animals. This documentary is a calm and candid assessment of the food industry and the money and politics that drive it to work the way it does.

This brings me to the point of this post and the way we've tried to eat in the Freeman house for years: Organic, Local, Sustainable. I say "tried" because we are very successful in the summer, but winter is another story. The Green City Market doesn't run as frequently and we get complacent ordering from Peapod. As if it doesn't matter if we eat the fruit genetically engineered by the weed killer company during the inconvenient chilly months. It takes commitment and planning to only eat a food when you are cetain of its origin. Duh.

Food, Inc. shocked us back to our commitment to eating organic, local and sustainable - in that order of importance. The rules are simple to understand and less so to follow: Food consumed in our house must fit two of the three categories and we absolutely must know where it comes from. I'd like to say that all of the food we eat is organic, local and sustainable, but we'll take two out of three. As they say ... two out of three ain't bad.

FIND LOCAL, SUSTAINABLE AND ORGANIC IN YOUR AREA

Sustainable Table | Sustainable Table celebrates local sustainable food, educates consumers on food-related issues and works to build community through food.

Local Harvest | Find farmgate sales, Community Supported Agriculture deliveries, grocery stores, farmers' markets and restaurants across America.

Eat Well Guide | Find local, sustainable, organic food in your area.

Eat Local Challenge | A group weblog focusing on the importance of locally and sustainably grown food.

100 Mile Diet | This particular challenge to only eat foods from a 100 mile radius of your home started in Vancouver, BC. But, the original book has a US counterpart. Check it out and map your 100 miles.

Edible Communities | Network of award-winning publications that celebrate local foods, season by season. Scroll down for the Edible magazine in your area.

USDA Official Site | Find a farmers' market in your area.

Have you seen Food, Inc? Did you love it, hate it? Did you learn something new? Have you changed how you eat because of it? Do you eat organic, local and sustainable or do you find it difficult to do? Please leave a comment and share your fuss with us.

Binge Drinking and Nasal Lavage

It's been years since I first used a neti pot. I bought it at Community Pharmacy in Madison, Wisconsin where I lived out four glorious undergrad years. I was most likely wearing a tie-dye tee with parachuting bears on it - back in the day of camp counseling, hemp necklaces and rolling my own cigarettes. Let's say, the spring/summer of 1996.

SIDEBAR: Before you judge, please remember that I was in college and the idea of smoking seemed much cooler then. I fully appreciate the contradiction of smoking (and binge drinking for that matter) while seeking homeopathic remedies, buying organic veggies from the Mifflin Street co-op, juicing, ingesting copious amounts of vitamins and drinking only from a Brita pitcher. I WAS IN COLLEGE.

The irony of this commitment to rolling my own cigarettes is illuminated by the fact that I broke both of my thumbs in a freak nautilus machine accident. Don't ask. This, of course, made rolling my own smokes impossible. Plus, we were playing a lot of Euchre at the Terrace and the injury impeded my shuffling, as well. Washing my hair properly was another challenge.  Who's the wannabe hippie drinking beer and playing cards with her thumbs in splints? It was a rough couple of months.

Anyway. Back to my fledgling relationship with my neti pot. I used it in the spring after a sinus infection (not caused in any way by smoking and drinking beer while playing "I never" and beer pong  until 4 am) and was impressed from what I can remember. But, for some reason, I never used it again.

Fast forward to this winter, where we send Leighton to Kids' Work every tuesday to collect as many germs as possible and return to infect us all. Ryan and my dad have a a touch of a cold here and there, but my mom and I have had bouts of congestion, sore throat, coughing and fatigue lasting for weeks at a time.

So, my mom with the help of Dr. Oz and Oprah, convinced me to try the Sinucleanse neti pot situation for the second time in my life. For those who aren't familiar and didn't click the link at the top of the post, a neti pot is a little teapot thingy that you fill with a warm saline solution to pour into one nostril and out the other.

I mixed up my solution and went after the world's stuffiest nose and sinus combo. HOLY HELL this thing really works! It's funny at first the kind of funny where you're embarrassed to be attempting neti pot use in front of yourself and it takes a time or two to get the hang of it, but once you get past the insanity you will love it.

After blowing my nose, breathing and raving about the little pot to my husband, I was curious about the genius who brought this handy little system to the attention of the American consumer. I turned the box over to find that the Sinucleanse system was created by a doctor in Madison, Wisconsin. Figures.

Okay. Who else has tried using a neti pot or other device for nasal irrigation? Who out there is too creeped out to do it? Please leave a comment and share your fuss with us!

Movie Real

I am acutely aware of that point in every movie where things are perfectly peachy, it's sunny, dad is playing with the kids, the birthday party is in full swing ... It's the high point in the movie just before it all goes to hell.

It's disconcerting.

I point out this movie moment every single time we watch one (which isn't very often). It's escalated to the point that Ryan tries to beat be to the moment of recognition - usually about 34-37 minutes in.

It's a little game and we laugh about it. But, I must say, in all honesty, I HATE the shattering of homeostasis and the anxiety of the resulting struggle (or rest of the movie) wherein characters practically kill themselves to get back to the place they were 63-67 minutes earlier. I'd be fine with ending the flick back at minute 34.

I love my life. I could use more sleep, a few more bucks and a round of lipo of course, but I am happy. Really, truly, unabashedly happy. And, in light of said happiness, I no longer have space in my head or the emotional constitution for sadness or drama on screen. In other words, I don't need a movie to get myself all worked up. I can handle that just fine on my own. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I mentioned that in the small moments, fear creeps in and plants the "what if" seeds. What if this very moment is as good as it gets? What if something horrendous happens and my happy is ripped from my grasp like one of Lue's chew toys from Lei's little hands? What if ...?

I just can't imagine losing my family, as it exists, at this second. I can hardly bear to think about Leighton getting bigger. I even get blurry-eyed when I consider having another baby. Our crew wouldn't be the same - the Freeman clan would no longer exists as it does on this day. What if that baby is sick? Every second that passes - every tick of the clock - is a moment for me to either panic like it's minute 38 or settle in and savor everything for which I am grateful.

Obviously, the latter is the more attractive option. I'm just saying ... sometimes it takes effort to forget about the laundry or work or the fact that Lue hasn't had a fresh hairdo in two months. The effort always pays off. Life is a work in progress and every day I choose to live mine one movie minute at a time.

Am I on a limb out here or are you feeling me? How do you handle it? Leave a comment and share your fuss with us.

WIN IT! and WTF? Follow Up: Tummy Tub

We've created so much fuss over the Tummy Tub we decided to give one away and let you (and your wee ones) decide for yourselves whether this baby bather is all that it's cracked up to be. Read through this What the Fuss? follow up, leave a comment and be entered for a chance to win your very own Tummy Tub.

WHAT THE FUSS? FOLLOW UP

We tried the Tummy Tub and stand back in July, when Leighton was only eight weeks old. It wasn't the best experience and I said as much in What the Fuss? Tummy Tub. I was contacted by the Tummy Tub distributor for the US, Janis McKellar, who found my review to be entirely too harsh and thought that I should have reached out to her for more info. Not in the mood to argue the validity of my thoughtful opinion, I agreed to give the Tummy Tub another shot.

Leighton and I purchased a brand new, original Tummy Tub on Amazon for $42.70 plus shipping. I avoided the stand this time because it was too tippy for my little jumping bean. Plus, it cost another $50 and $100 for a tub situation is a bit much. So, I skipped it. If you want to buy it or a curious in any way, here it is.

Janis did have a compelling response to my remarks on the price:

• Tummy Tubs are produced in Europe & Israel, as opposed to China. Everything is CPSIA compliant and has passed the highest safety standards.
• Tummy Tub plastic is the highest quality available.
• Standard infant tubs are often made of inferior quality plastic resulting in the purchase of more than one. Plus, standard tubs are only comfortable for a short period of time resulting in the purchase of a larger tub and/or toddler seat. The Tummy Tub can work for tots up to nearly two years of age.

Well-played Tummy Tub lady. I am never one to turn my nose up at products made from quality materials in fully developed countries. For the actual tub piece, $42.70 is not a bad price for a bathing device that goes from newborn to toddler.

Now, as far as utility, I will say that after using the Tummy Tub all week, I was often wet and it was hard to rinse Lei's head because I like to tip her back in the tub to avoid getting water in her eyes. As far as pooping in the tub, well ... she did that in the big tub this morning and admittedly, it would have been a hell of a lot easier to clean up if she had been in the Tummy Tub.

With regard to Leighton's Tummy Tub reviews they were mixed. When I first put her in it, she was interested and happy. But, I filled it up too high initially and had to "pause" her bath to remove some of the water. When I put her back in, she was mad at me, wouldn't sit down and abused me with a washcloth.

That's basically the story all week. If Lei was in a good mood, Tummy Tub time went fine. If she was cranky or tired ... not so much. See Happy Lei below.
 

In retrospect, I may have been a overly critical of the Tummy Tub in my initial review. This time around, Leighton found it rather enjoyable, for the most part. Plus, it's cute, conscientiously produced and a few readers commented that they love Tummy Tub. If the tub had a more practical stand, I would be inclined to try that too.

I think whether the Tummy Tub works for any family depends on both the parents and the child. As Janis remarked to me, "it boils down to what your priority is ... easy bathing experience for mom or dad or comfort for baby."  For me, it's both, and baby's comfort comes first. However, If baby isn't comfortable it may not work out.

Leighton and I may shelve the Tummy Tub, but I will definitely pull it out for another adventure if and when baby number two comes along.

This product review conforms to the Fuss Formula. 

WIN AN ORIGINAL TUMMY TUB

1. Leave a comment to this post telling us your favorite or least favorite thing about bath time.

2.  Comments close on 1/20 at 5PM CDT.

3. Your official comment posted during the specified time frame counts as an entry.

4. Your comment posted to the Facebook announcement of this giveaway will count as an entry too.

5. One comment will be selected as the winner.

6. Comments will each be assigned a number and winners will be chosen randomly using Random.org.

7. The winner will be announced on January 21, 2010.

8. The prize is one original Tummy Tub as pictured above. ($43 value)

GOOD LUCK!

Shut the Front Door

So here we are in the predictably unpleasant space where we didn't realize how unsanitary our adjectives were until we vowed to clean up our conversational english. Um ... yeah. We curse a lot.

I was giving Leighton a bath today - splashing about with a pink rubber ducky. Duck. Duck. Duck. Duck. Finally, I said This is a duck. Can you say duck? And she did! DUH-CKAH. Nofa King way I thought to myself.

SIDEBAR: The Nofa King (as in Nofa King chance in hell I would Facebook friend my ex) is the evil step-brother of the Sofa King (as in Sofa King drunk and Sofa King hungover).

The days of thinking that we can get away with using language inappropriate for a toddler are O-V-E-R. I guess that means I can't rock her to sleep while watching Entourage anymore either. Mommy. What's a douche bag? Nope. Not pretty.

Dear readers (assuming you all enjoy using the old mother-effer as much as me and anyone interviewed by James Lipton), how did you handle the transition from ice road trucker to responsible parent? I'm having trouble.

I'm never going to say shut the front door or cheese and crackers. I would start to hate myself rather quickly. But, I would like to find a reasonable way to avoid a kindergarten parent/teacher conference where it's explained to me that Leighton called Sadie a mother-fucker and we aren't invited back.

I realize that filling the adjective gap with foul language is just plain lazy and that far more descriptive words lead to more accurate expression. Moreover, we want our daughter to have an expansive vocabulary and swearing isn't going to help. Kids mimic their parents good or bad. I need to systematically eradicate the naughty words from the Freeman household and it's going to take some thoughtful effort.

While the plan is to use real words to calmly describe most situations, we still need a few replacements for those excited utterances that call for something more. I haven't come up with anything good and don't particularly care for what's out there. I will post a followup once I've settled on some favorites.

In the interim, I will rely on some old standbys; I have used shitake to replace one choice word and fuh(ck)-crying out loud can mask the f-bomb in a pinch. And maybe we'll inject some Orbitz-commercial speak to ease the transition from crass to class. It's relevant and silly. I mean what the french toast isn't funny about cootie queen and lint licker?

What expressions do you use in place of profanity in your kiddo-friendly household? Please post a comment and share your fuss with us!

Loser Wardrobe Challenge Part II

In Loser Wardrobe Challenge Part I I layed out a plan to clean out my closet and generate fundage for a brand new wardrobe. The specifics - here's the plan as I listed it back in August: 

Step 1 - Clean out closets and make eBay pile. Oh how I do love eBay. Step 2 - Stop eating. Just kidding. Hit the gym. Step 3 - List my eBay goodies. Step 4 - Enlist the help of my cousins-stylists, choose stores and make hair appointments. Step 5 - Makeover/Shopping day is November 7th.

Here's the progress: 1 - Closets are clean and eBay piles are everywhere. 2 - I have stopped eating and hit the gym with my fists as I walk past it. 3 - Have listed 50 of the roughly 100 items I vowed to purge. 4 - I am focusing on Anthropologie and J Crew for chain stores and boutique shopping to round out the new look. I desperately need a new Burberry trench, but really can't justify that much of a splurge at the moment. 5 - February 17th is the new November 7th.

It feels good already, but I won't be realizing the vast expanse of space in my closet until I start shipping my precious belongings next week.

It's funny how tied to "stuff" we can be. I've had this closet, jam packed with gorgeous things that don't fit, staring at me every day since I became pregnant in July 2008. I have touched about ten items since that time and my closet is petrified into a museum of who I once was.

As I piled, photographed and listed each of these things I could remember when I bought it, why I wanted it, what I planned to do with it and how I looked at the time. I couldn't trust my intial desire to hold on to each. Is it more cost-effective to keep it? Am I really ever going to wear it again? Do I even like it? I had to make a rule that it was all going to go and stick to my guns.

It's addictive - the urge to purge. I'm less than two days into this closet-emptying exercise and I already feel lighter. Now, if I can just keep from filling it back up again.

It's a new year. Are you in the mood to clean house and start the year fresh? Post to comments and share your fuss with us!